{"product_id":"sh-t-my-dad-says","title":"Sh*t My Dad Says by Justin Halpern","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSh*t My Dad Says\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAfter being dumped by his longtime girlfriend, twenty-nine-year-old Justin Halpern found himself living at home with his seventy-three-year-old dad. Sam Halpern has never minced words, and when Justin moved back home he began to record all the ridiculous things his dad said to him:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003e“Sometimes life leaves a hundred dollar bill on your dresser, and you don’t realize until later that it’s because it fucked you.”\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003e“The worst thing you can be is a liar. . . . Okay, fine, yes, the worst thing you can be is a Nazi, but then, number two is liar. Nazi 1, Liar 2.” \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003e\"That woman was sexy. . . . Out of your league? Son, let women figure out why they won't screw you. Don't do it for them.\" \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003e\"Do people your age know how to comb their hair? It looks like two squirrels crawled on their heads and started fucking.\"\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMore than a million people now follow Mr. Halpern's philosophical musings on Twitter, and in this book, his son weaves a brilliantly funny, touching coming-of-age memoir around the best of his quotes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAn all-American story that unfolds on the Little League field, in Denny's, during excruciating family road trips, and, most frequently, in the Halperns' kitchen over bowls of Grape-Nuts, \u003cem\u003eSh*t My Dad Says\u003c\/em\u003e is a chaotic, hilarious, true portrait of a father-son relationship from a major new comic voice.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAuthor: Justin Halpern\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eBinding: Hardcover\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePages: 176\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDimensions: 5.8\" x 7.5\"\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Belleville Market","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44921900335219,"sku":"9780061992704","price":16.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0582\/8306\/5459\/files\/ShtMyDadSays.png?v=1778007682","url":"https:\/\/bellevillemarket.com\/products\/sh-t-my-dad-says","provider":"Belleville Market","version":"1.0","type":"link"}